Confrontation...I run from it. <Shakes head.> I sometimes even run from it with my children. How is that for an honest confession? The thought of confrontation makes my stomach get all tied in knots. I justify running from it in my mind by saying that I can't confront someone because I might have a plank in my eye that needs to be removed first. I am pretty sure that God did not include that passage in the bible.
So....
I started this post on Tuesday afternoon. Then God did not allow me to get back to it until today (Thursday evening). He had something to show me. A little bit more than I had originally wanted to share. Something a bit deeper.
Originally I was going to just talk about how much I have to learn from Paul. In 2 Corinthians 7, he talks of having sent them a letter that he did and didn't regret sending to them. That he was sorry that it had grieved them but that he was glad it had grieved them to repentance. I want to be able to do this with the girls when there is an area that we as parents see needs improving. I want to be able to confront them without fear and cause them to grow.
But...
This morning while I was showering I was working it all out in my mind because I knew that tonight I would have a chance to sit down and write. As I was thinking and praying about it I realized that I have an even bigger reason for not liking confrontation. Drum roll. I want people to like me. I seek approval from man instead of God. I don't want to do or say something that would make someone not like me or cut off a relationship with me. UGH! Boy is that an ugly truth.
It didn't stop there though...
I have this great disdain, disgust, yucky feelings for the words tolerance and intolerance. In private and around those who I know really well I feel free to express my yuck for the words that are so popular right now. Tolerate means the act of enduring without interference. Intolerance means the unwillingness or refusal to tolerate or respect opinions or beliefs contrary to one's own. The intolerance of the world to God, the church and the gospel right now is in our faces at almost every turn yet we are the ones called intolerant. You bet the bible, the gospel message and Christians are intolerant. We are (or we should be) intolerant of SIN. Sin is wrong and God does not tolerate it, which means that Christians should not tolerate sin in the church or other believes. That intolerance of sin in the church or other believers must be tempered with brotherly love and the desire to move them towards repentance. We may want the world to not sin but unbelievers are in the dark and we can't expect them to follow God's law, their hearts are hard.
Stepping down off my soap box. Why? Because God showed me that when I do not speak out and confront sin I see in the life of one of my children I am being tolerant of sin, of them disobeying God. Why do I tolerate sin in my own life? Why do I tolerate my own disobedience to the Lord? Wow, talk about feeling yucky and disgusted.
Did this whole process make me less fearful of confrontation? No. My stomach is in knots about posting this because I have a feeling that it may cause some to cut off our relationship.
The whole process has made me realize that I need to pray for more boldness and courage. I need to step out in faith more. I first need to confess and repent of my own sins. Then, I need to confront my daughters' sins more liberally and with love so that they can move on to repentance. Lastly, and maybe the most scary, I need to actually apply it, but still with love and the desire to see them move to repentance, in speaking with others believers. I need to call sin what it is and not let it slide so that I can save a relationship. I need to pray and when I feel the nudging of the Lord to confront someone I need to do it.
Not really where I expected this to go but there is the whole disgusting things laid out for all to see. The Lord has so much work to do on me.
So....
I started this post on Tuesday afternoon. Then God did not allow me to get back to it until today (Thursday evening). He had something to show me. A little bit more than I had originally wanted to share. Something a bit deeper.
Originally I was going to just talk about how much I have to learn from Paul. In 2 Corinthians 7, he talks of having sent them a letter that he did and didn't regret sending to them. That he was sorry that it had grieved them but that he was glad it had grieved them to repentance. I want to be able to do this with the girls when there is an area that we as parents see needs improving. I want to be able to confront them without fear and cause them to grow.
But...
This morning while I was showering I was working it all out in my mind because I knew that tonight I would have a chance to sit down and write. As I was thinking and praying about it I realized that I have an even bigger reason for not liking confrontation. Drum roll. I want people to like me. I seek approval from man instead of God. I don't want to do or say something that would make someone not like me or cut off a relationship with me. UGH! Boy is that an ugly truth.
It didn't stop there though...
I have this great disdain, disgust, yucky feelings for the words tolerance and intolerance. In private and around those who I know really well I feel free to express my yuck for the words that are so popular right now. Tolerate means the act of enduring without interference. Intolerance means the unwillingness or refusal to tolerate or respect opinions or beliefs contrary to one's own. The intolerance of the world to God, the church and the gospel right now is in our faces at almost every turn yet we are the ones called intolerant. You bet the bible, the gospel message and Christians are intolerant. We are (or we should be) intolerant of SIN. Sin is wrong and God does not tolerate it, which means that Christians should not tolerate sin in the church or other believes. That intolerance of sin in the church or other believers must be tempered with brotherly love and the desire to move them towards repentance. We may want the world to not sin but unbelievers are in the dark and we can't expect them to follow God's law, their hearts are hard.
Stepping down off my soap box. Why? Because God showed me that when I do not speak out and confront sin I see in the life of one of my children I am being tolerant of sin, of them disobeying God. Why do I tolerate sin in my own life? Why do I tolerate my own disobedience to the Lord? Wow, talk about feeling yucky and disgusted.
Did this whole process make me less fearful of confrontation? No. My stomach is in knots about posting this because I have a feeling that it may cause some to cut off our relationship.
The whole process has made me realize that I need to pray for more boldness and courage. I need to step out in faith more. I first need to confess and repent of my own sins. Then, I need to confront my daughters' sins more liberally and with love so that they can move on to repentance. Lastly, and maybe the most scary, I need to actually apply it, but still with love and the desire to see them move to repentance, in speaking with others believers. I need to call sin what it is and not let it slide so that I can save a relationship. I need to pray and when I feel the nudging of the Lord to confront someone I need to do it.
Not really where I expected this to go but there is the whole disgusting things laid out for all to see. The Lord has so much work to do on me.
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