Wedding thoughts

Ron did a reading for his friend/boss’s wedding last weekend.  Several weeks ago our Pastor did a wedding for a couple who just walked in one Sunday looking for a church to get married in.  They had already been living together and had 2 children.  There have been a few other weddings in the past year.  All of these have gotten me to thinking.

My first thoughts have been how thankful I am that the only man I have ever known is my God-given husband.  I am thankful that we were virgins until our wedding night.  I am thankful that we waited for the one God had for us.  I am thankful that God has always been at the center of our relationship.  I am thankful we had wonderful Godly examples of lasting marriages in our parents, our mentor couple and the pastor who married us and that they all had a part in counseling us in preparation for marriage.  I am so thankful that our honeymoon was a time of learning about each other on a more intimate and day-to-day level.

My second thoughts were please let all these things be true for our daughters when they marry.  I have moments of wanting to put them in a glass bubble to protect their hearts from ever being hurt by a boy/man.  I want them to experience the same joys I felt when Ron asked me to marry him and knowing that he had to ask my parents for permission.  I want them to have had pre-marriage counseling from an older Godly couple and the pastor who will marry them.  I want them to experience the nerves, the newness and joys of the wedding day and the honeymoon.

Sadly though my thoughts turned to how sad I am for couples who miss out on so much joy and excitement.  I really do mean sadness and hurt for them and not judgment and condemnation.  Oh how I wish people would see how God’s plan is perfect for marriage.  I want them to know they could avoid so much hurt and heartbreak by doing things God’s way. 

It saddens me that so many couples, even Christian couples, are not able to experience the joy of having your first sexual experience and exploration be with the one whom you have just committed your whole heart and life to.  So many couples live together before marriage to see if they are compatible (and to save money some say).  How sad to not get to figure out all those little things with your spouse.  I really did find setting up our home, waking up each morning and coming home each day a joy and a learning experience.  I could go on and on about the things that I think people are missing out on by not waiting and following God’s plan for sex and marriage.

I dated a boy in college who I thought was a believer but now as I reflect back I am unsure.  I thought things were going so well and that we might marry.  When he broke it off I was surprised.  God used it to show me that I would not seriously date another man unless I knew he had a strong committed on-fire faith and I felt the Lord leading me.  I would not let it be an emotion led thing.  It changed the way I looked at men, I looked at them to see if they were Godly leaders.

I am thankful to the Lord for that experience and the insight that came from it.  I have written before about how it was love at second sight with Ron.  I think it was that the first time I was looking at him with worldly eyes and not Godly eyes because he was the same guy (a few years older and with an awesome beard ;)).  I know that it was also God’s timing.  I needed that experience in college to get me looking at things in the right way, the Godly way. 

I heard recently in a sermon something I knew but was said in a different way that gave me an “ah-ha” moment.  I can’t even remember the exact wording now but it got my wheels really turning and gave me some clarity.  We can’t expect unbelievers to follow the ways of the Lord, to live up to the standards the Lord laid out in the Bible.  Duh but I have done this so much in the past, in so many different situations.  I struggle minute by minute to obey the standards the Lord laid out and I even have the Holy Spirit dwelling within me to help me. 

In the end all my heartache for those who miss out on all the joy of doing sex and marriage God’s way boils down to how sad I am that they do not believe in the Lord and have not put their lives in His hands.  This was not at all where I thought this post was going.  God has again used me writing out my thought to bring clarity and bring me right back to Him in prayer.  Prayer for those who have not put their faith in the Lord and turned from the old to the new man.