Titus 2

God has brought me to a point in life that I am not entirely comfortable with.  Wow.  I had this blog post all planned out in my head and God just showed me something more…This is a place that I have prayed to be.  Haha.  Be careful what you pray for. 

Titus 2:3-5 Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.

I remember when I had just one little girlie and how much I really wanted to have one older mom who would commit to come alongside me and be that Titus 2 woman to me.  We didn’t live near our parents, in fact we were a 16 hour drive away.  Yes, I could call my mom on the phone and ask all sorts of questions but it was just not the same as having someone right there to talk to.  I wanted someone who had children who were several years older that I could be around and observe.  I wanted to see how it was done.  Yes, there were other seminary wives/moms that I hung out with but we all had children within months of each other.  We were all at the same point in our walk into motherhood.

Then we had the almost 5 years of moving every 18 months, which did not really make it easy to develop deep relationships with older ladies.  I was just starting to develop good relationships with moms who were at the same place when we would move again.  By the time we settled into Lynchburg I had a 3, 5, and 7 year old.  I was not really the new young mom anymore.  It was somewhere during those 5 years that I began to pray on occasion that I would one day have the opportunity to be that Titus 2 older woman.  I think I prayed not really believing that it would ever happen.  Ever pray like that…maybe you should take a lesson from me and don’t pray for something you don’t really want to happen or think could ever happen to you.

I am not really sure when I became of the age or place in life that moms started asking me questions, seeking my opinion.  I don’t think I really realized it was happening at first.  I don’t even know when I became aware of the fact that I was now in the strange place of being in between places.  I was still seeking a Titus 2 woman for myself and yet I was becoming one to some.

So what am I uncomfortable with…I am uncomfortable with the role of being the older one in that Titus 2 relationship.  I do not feel like I am old enough or experienced enough or something enough to have that role.  Did I really pray for this role?  What was I thinking?  This is scary.  It is not just a role I prayed to have it is a role God commands us to take on.  No matter where we are in our walk with the Lord or our walk as a wife or mother there is someone who is not as far as we are. 

What brought this post on?  Last night at church I was asked by another mom how we celebrate Christmas at our house because the gist of it was she thought that we had it all together.  I said thank you but we don’t we still have so much to learn yet I was still able to share what we do and have done.  As I sit here I can look back over the last almost 12 years of motherhood and see the vast experiences the Lord has walked me through as a mother.  I can imagine how the Lord could use those experiences to allow me to walk with other moms through similar situations. 

So, I will continue to follow the Lord’s leading, trusting that He knows what He is doing.  I will wait and listen and obey to all those He continues to bring into my life and path.  I will pray for the words I say to be glorifying to Him.  I will pray that my actions will also glorify Him.  I will pray and hope that all my stumblings and total screw-ups will cause me to grow.  At the same time I hope those times will be an example of one who still seeks after Christlikeness not someone to be put up on a pedestal where I will fall off of very quickly.  I am yours Lord…use me to your glory.