Ugh! I have control issues. I have a problem leaving control with God in certain areas of my life. I give control over to Him and then slowly over time without realizing it I take back the control. Why do I have to keep learning this lesson over and over again? I guess that means that I am not actually learning it. Hmmmm...
What brought this all on you ask. Stress, feeling completely overwhelmed, more stress, feeling torn, confused and lost. It has been a rough couple of weeks with too much going on in my life and not being able to say no. I have struggled with being a people pleaser and saying no. I know I need to be a God pleaser and not a people pleaser but it is such a struggle for me. I have taken on too many things. My schedule is over loaded. Nothing on my schedule is bad but maybe some of them are things that should not be on my schedule right now.
Looking back I know that I put some things on my schedule before consulting the Lord. They were good things but I am now seeing that some of those things are adding to much pressure on me at this time. I had good honorable goals but they were my goals for my life and not the Lords. I can also see I took on things to please others and not the Lord.
I am doing a bible study right now called "Giving Christ Control". Funny thing is that I am now on week 5 and I am just now realizing that I have taken back control. It takes 5 weeks of a bible study for me to realize what I have done. Boy can I be blind sometimes. I want to share a few nuggets I have gleaned from this study.
"When learning to give Christ control of our lives, the place to start is with God Himself...in the yielding process we decide to give control over our lives. We willfully and purposefully set our lives in His hands. It's a choice we make in prayer, and the our actions follow that choice...We mentally choose to rest in Him..When we fill our minds with His glory, we are that much more inclined to choose to follow Him wholeheartedly." We meditated that week on Psalm 139. What a wonderful passage.
"Immersing ourselves in the reality of God's love is vital to our learning to give Christ control of our lives...God invites us to lean against His love. He invites us to relax and let go...The love of God is an intimate love...God has invited us to live immersed and surrounded by His grace, goodness and love. He calls us to surrender our lives to Him and come to His banquet table. Yet we often choose to hold on to that with which we are familiar instead of yielding our lives completely to Him. When we do, we miss out on all the blessings He has planned for us." Boy did that last part of this one really hit home and make me say ouch.
Now that I know that I have taken on too much I struggle with guilt over having to weed things out. After talking about my struggle with the guilt with Ron I still had no relief. Then I got on facebook to check on a few people I had been praying for and God left me a sweet nugget. His timing is awesome! Perfect, as always. "Once guilt serves its valuable purpose of turning us away from our sin (repenting), it is time to let it go! It is no longer useful to us! It will only hold us down, trying to defeat us and lie to us! We are not stuck, and we can and do improve! We are filled with the Spirit and able to walk uprightly, even if we stand up after falling down many times each day! Stand tall!" What a relief this was to me.
Yes as I have posted before this life with the Lord is an adventure. It is never dull. Praise God!
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